The guys discuss Just One of the Guys. Topics include: queefs, Shakespeare, Dave Coulier wronged Jeff, journalism, sexism, the nutritional value of school lunches, Penthouse Forum, cross dressing, Miggs from Silence of the Lambs, ball scratching techniques, crotch stuffing, how to wear a chain wallet, urinal rankings, jock strap inspections, Harold “Reptile” Sherbecoe, a glove full of vaseline, Chris Evert, naming your penis, a homophobic prom band, and biker women. Remember, all ball’s itch. That’s a fact.
Terry’s brother Buddy shows her how to act like a guy. He begins with the most important lesson of all, ball scratching. Terry fails miserably.
Buddy takes great pride in his ball scratching skills. What’s truly impressive is that the method actor playing Buddy is actually left-handed. He walked around for 6 weeks doing nothing but grabbing his crotch right-handed and lost 38 lbs! Daniel Day Lewis is a punk bitch.
Terry thinks that if she pretends to be a guy, the teachers will have a greater appreciation for her writing. So she cuts her hair, lowers her voice, and stuffs a rolled sock down her pants. To be honest, it’s halfway believable.
Greg totally lifts, bro. Here we see him demonstrating proper Nerd Upright Row Lift technique, an Olympic event until 1936. Thanks, Hitler.
Terry tries to be “just one of the guys.” It doesn’t work and Greg responds accordingly.
These nerds think they can just sit around and enjoy their lunch like normal people. Thankfully, Greg gets there just in time. He even remembered to bring his nerd-tossin’ gloves.
Terry goes into the locker room to change clothes for gym class. As soon as she walks in some jerk hits her with a jock to the grill, a move insiders call a “Virgin Richie Incognito” (During the traditional “Richie Incognito”, the assailant keeps the jock on while striking the face).
There’s something wrong with this fella’s ding-a-ling. He asks Terry for help. She demurs.
This is Reptile, a character that exists for no fucking reason at all. Ah, the ’80s — when the most dangerous things trench coat-kids carried were snakes.
Terry and Sandy are fooling around on the beach and Sandy attempts the ol’ Sandusky Sneak. When she discovers the cock sock, she ain’t even mad. In fact, she’s flattered!
Again, for no fucking reason at all, Reptile. I wish there was a director’s cut that shows the first 7 takes where the lizard violently bites Reptile’s hand.
Greg punches Rick so Terry decides to defend her best buddy/secret crush. Greg gives Terry the bum’s rush.
Buddy rides off into the sunset with his motorcycle mama.