Van Wilder

The guys discuss Van Wilder. Topics include: Tara Reid, homophobia, India, an incredible DVD menu, sinew, underage drinking, getting kicked out of school, and mostly, dog semen.

“When Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds), a party-loving student shuffling through his seventh year in college, learns that his father won’t pay for another semester, he has to figure out a way to pay for his education all by himself.”

Watch Van Wilder on Amazon Instant

Van Wilder Gifs

Sherman jumps off a building

“I regret not cashing in on my fleeting celebrity…aaaaahhhhhhh”

 Shermanator can’t handle the pressures of college and decides to kill himself. He fails. This is exactly why we need the 2nd amendment, America.

Fat guy squeezes stomach

Like most casting calls, Van’s assistant auditions require the candidates show a lil skin

Van has several students audition to be his assistant and they display a wide range of talents. I guess they made this guy wear a name tag to keep from confusing him with the other lardo that performs parlor tricks with his fat.

 

A dog with huge balls

“I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave”

This is not a prop. That dog actually had testicular cancer. Luckily, due to the success of this movie, his trainer was able to pay for treatment and the dog’s cancer went into remission. Sadly, the dog died a few weeks later after succumbing to his lifelong battle with drugs.

A stripper farts

This is how they used to fight forest fires in the olden days

Taj and Van use their last few dollars to pay a woman to fart in their face. If you ever need a reminder of how good the economy used to be just remember, THIS used to be a job.

 

An eclair with dog sperm in it

Good ’til the last drop!

Typical love story. Guy jerks off Dog. Dog ejaculates into Eclair. Boy eats Eclair filled with Dog semen.

Taj jumps out of window on fire

“We didn’t start the fire! It was always bur…wait, what?!, we DID start the fire? Fuck, let’s get outta here!”

Taj sets himself on fire, crashes through a window, and jumps out of a 3 story building in what I can only assume is some kind of weird Hindu ritual.

Drunk kids

Too much Jesus juice

At the big party, the DIKs hatch a plan to jam up our main man Van by letting some school kids get slammed wham bam thank you ma’am Jean Claude Van Damme Duran Duran

Fake Johnnie Cochran

Topical. There’s also an Amelia Earhart/Crabs reference in the bonus features

This is an obvious Johnny Cochran reference. Sadly, they decided to slander a man of high moral character like Mr. Cochran by showing him using such deplorable vulgarity.

Richard shits in trashcan

Everybody poops…some more than others….and at inopportune times

 Dog semen is a very strong laxative. In fact, they Mayans used to fellate their dogs when they experienced constipation. Too bad that society didn’t last!